Dreaming a Parent Is Still Alive but Only the Family Knows

When people find out I'yard an only child, they often ask me how it was growing upward. Well, I don't know any other life, and I had a very happy babyhood.  So I'd say it was great!

Nevertheless, as I consider my own family unit and how many children I'd want, I take to consider more carefully.  From a parent's standpoint, I tin can empathize why people would choose to accept only ane child. Raising just i child already requires a lot of fourth dimension, energy and money. And for some people, they are but able to have one. Simply if I were given the opportunity to have more ane child, I would. To me, it's short term pain for long term gain. Why?  Here are some of the pros and cons to beingness an merely child from my experience:

Pros:

– Attention from my parents. This 1's pretty obvious.  Because information technology was merely me, I had both my parents' full attention.  I never had to compete for it.  Perhaps if I was a more rebellious kid, this may take counted as a disadvantage.  But I did enjoy having all their attention.

– Relating well to adults. Since I grew up without siblings or cousins my age, I spent a lot of time effectually adults.  I think sitting with my parents and their friends later dinner just listening to their conversations.  This taught me how to interact with people much older than myself. When I got married, Tim noticed that I had lots of older women friends and that I would strike up conversations with people older than us with much more ease than he would.

– Independence. Non having siblings meant that I had to make decisions on my own. Information technology as well meant that I had to entertain myself and discover ways to occupy myself.  I ended up doing a lot of reading and drawing. I also had to problem solve on my own.

– Suited an introvert. Beingness an only child was groovy for me every bit an introvert. I had plenty of time to recall and be by myself. I'd still accept play dates with friends, but a lot of the time, I just hung out on my own, which I totally didn't mind.

– Maturity. 1 of the effects of spending a lot of time with adults was that I learned early on on how to think like them. In my growing up years, I would ofttimes hear the comment, "You are and then mature for your historic period!"  But peradventure information technology was just that I learned how to sit withal and not run effectually that fabricated me appear more mature.

 Cons:

– No one to share responsibility with. As I grew older, I realized that one of the downsides to having no siblings was that I had all the responsibility for my parents as they grew older.  For their 25th hymeneals anniversary, I threw them a big political party and I think wishing I had siblings to help me with organizing information technology.  And every bit I await into the future, I will be the just one to treat them in their golden years.

– Non knowing how to fight. Believe it or not, learning to fight and have disagreements is a useful life skill. Having no one to fight with while I was growing up meant that I had a lot of catching up to practise when I hitting my adult years. My beginning roommate bore the brunt of this learning bend for me.  Thankfully, she was very patient and gracious with me. To this mean solar day, I still recoil at the idea of debating someone, which is as well bad for my married man because he loves to debate!

– Unaware of other's opinions. A related effect of non having to disagree with anyone was ignorance of perspectives exterior of my ain. Again, I learned nearly this from my first roommate. When I first moved out of my parents' house, I thought my approach to bug was the only one and I expected others to see it the aforementioned way. Over time, I learned that there is usually more than than one solution or one viewpoint and that others' opinions are just as valid.

– Loneliness. This is usually the get-go disadvantage that comes to mind when people think of only children. Well, it's truthful. There were many times where I felt like I was an "only lonely." And I grew up oftentimes wishing I had an older sibling (older, because a lot of my friends had younger siblings and they didn't seem to enjoy having them very much).

– Discomfort relating to children. Since I spent so much time with adults, I never was very comfy in relating to other children. I didn't really know how to let loose and play like the other kids. It was not until I had my own child that I could finally feel less awkward playing with kids.

– Not knowing how to ask for assistance. The flip side of being independent was that I tried to practice everything by myself. It was an eye opener for me when I started dating Tim to see his family ask each other for opinions before making decisions. I have had to larn to ask for help and input over the years.

Overall, growing up as an only child was a positive experience for me. Just in that location were definitely areas (especially socially) where having siblings would have prepared me amend for engaging with the earth. And then even though every bit a parent, it would be easier to only have 1 kid, in the long haul, I recall information technology benefits the whole family unit to take more than than one child. Who I am today is very much influenced by the fact that I grew up as an simply child. But I'chiliad also thankful that through marriage, I have siblings for the developed part of my life!

Desire to read more than? Here are a few books about being and parenting an only kid (affiliate links):

andersonimbeat1961.blogspot.com

Source: https://timandolive.com/only-child/

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